Bugger pt 2

Well, we got our arses kicked. Me and Dave are all that's left of our unit. We've no home. No supplies. No food. Dave's getting right on my teets tbf. If he keeps on whining I'm gonna eat him. :(

Bugger.

Leave cancelled. Something big is going daaan. Never rains but it pours, eh? Hopefully see you next month instead. Soz :(

Coming to a brothel near you sooon!!

Can't w8 to get back to Mordor and my town of Lithlad for 2 weeks of well-deserved R&R. Managed to bunk off the Minas Tirith trip. Said I had a gammy leg. Tbf I'm an Orc. I'm all gam. I'm coming home. W00t!!!11 Orcs, lock up your daughters! Lolz.

Walking Twigs 1 - Dark wizards and orcs 0 :(

Well, that was a washout. How do a bunch of 7ft orcs go about attacking 20+ 100ft trees? At this rate they'll be knocking on the gates of Mordor in no time. :(

Brokeback Mordor

No word on the insurgents. Last we heard they've gone a bit 'cutesy' for each other so that should slow things down once they get cold and lonely up in the mountains.

I'm an orc, not a lumberjack!

There's been reports of some bloody angry trees storming towards to white tower. I think we're supposed to contain them. Hope they'z gonna supply enough sets of pruning shears. Won't be able to update for a bit. btw just seen Sauron has started a blog. I dunno how he finds the time. Bit emo if you ask me. Wish me luck.

Honestly, I could murder something. Brb